Messy hair, clean life ❤ 

I wish I could say I’m the one behind that saying but it’s from an amazing woman of faith, blogger and fellow misFIT, Noel at Third Day Hair. Regardless of where it came from it’s the perfect intro into the fact my life didn’t always used to be “clean” in fact it was quite messy and at times still is.

My mess used to consist of unhealthy relationships, partying, various of forms of an eating disorder and at my lowest of lows self harm. Some of you may be thinking, “there’s no way that could be true, you’ve always seemed happy and on top of the world!” Well there’s a two fold answer to that.

First of all, anybody can hide behind a smile especially in our don’t ask or judge and mind your own business world. Secondly, I didn’t always view my mess as messy. In fact our culture has sold the lie that partying, sex outside of marriage, always having to look like the girl in the magazine, etc. is normal and not a big deal. Well I hate to break it to you but it IS a big deal and one day or another we all have to face our mess.

I’m so thankful God made me face mine head on at age 21 because it’s why I can write this today with no fear of the repercussions or my future. He has truly turned my mess into His MESSage and yesterday I was blessed with an opportunity that made me realize it needs to be shared even more.

I’ve been growing a relationship with a woman whom I’ve never mentioned I’m a Christian too and she’s never seen my social media which I hope would be a dead giveaway of that! Yet her heart was stirred to ask me about the Bible, it was so cool. We talked, she shared some of her struggles and fears about what inviting God into her life could mean then she said something that both broke my heart yet also lit a fire in it.

“I feel like if I go to church everybody is going to be looking at me like why is SHE here, she’s done so many bad things and even now her life is messy.” My quick response? GIRL I’ve been there!

I remember sitting in the church pew on Sunday mornings feeling like everybody knew what I was out doing the night before. Feeling like those church people have never walked in my shoes or made the mistakes I’ve made. My mom has always been an open book and shared her past sins like I am now, but aside from that I very rarely heard your average, church going adult speak of these things.

However, after countless prayers and pressing through those lies that I didn’t belong I’ve been blessed to find out through women’s Bible study, speakers, books, blogs and most importantly the Bible itself that many God fearing and Jesus loving women have walked in my shoes or even messier ones. It’s through realizing that I am not alone, which none of us really are when it comes to sin as Romans 3:23 reminds us, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” that I can live a clean life despite my past and present mistakes.

And for the record this clean life that I speak of is not me trying to produce Godly results or being that perfect church going adult. It’s the power of the Holy Spirit working in and through my life everyday as a messy haired mom, wife, daughter, sister and friend to make me a reflection of His glory and grace.

The best part? Like I shared with that woman yesterday is that you too can live a clean life and turn from your messy ways. It won’t be a walk in the park but the good news is you won’t be walking alone!